Hey, it’s Rafic. 

Welcome back to this week’s edition of Peak Performance Insider.

When most of us hear the word negotiation, we picture the big, sweaty-palm moments: asking for a raise, pitching a client, or making a career move.

But what I’ve learned, both in my own career and in coaching high-achieving professionals, is that the real negotiations, the ones that shape your performance, your energy, and your balance, rarely happen at a boardroom table.

They happen every day.

• When you’re asked to take on “just one more thing” at work.

• When your boss sets a deadline that makes you want to laugh (or cry).

• When you’re trying to protect an evening for yourself without feeling guilty.

• Even at home, when you’re deciding who’s cooking dinner or how to spend a weekend.

Avoiding these conversations doesn’t make them go away. It just means you end up negotiating against yourself.

This week, I want to reframe negotiation as a daily performance skill, one that helps you protect your time, reduce friction, and show up at your best.

📌 Today’s Agenda

✅ Why negotiation is about clarity, not conflict
✅ What Chris Voss (Never Split the Difference) can teach us about influence
✅ Raises, promotions, and how strategy changes between startups and corporates
✅ Everyday negotiations at work and home (and how to win them without burning bridges)

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🔗 Best Links - My Favorite Finds

🧠 Personal Growth & Mindset
🔹 How the Military Builds Habits That Stick – The military’s habit-shaping secrets: why visual cues matter, how repetition strengthens neural pathways, and why mistakes are corrected, not punished.

👥 Leadership & Influence
🔹 How to Make a Good Apology – Why genuine apologies build more trust than defensiveness ever could.

📈 Productivity & Habits
🔹 Why Strategic Change Outperforms Drastic Overhauls - Why small, strategic shifts outperform dramatic reinventions when it comes to productivity and progress.

💪 Health & Wellness
🔹 Andrew Huberman’s #1 Science-Backed Trick for Long-Lasting Focus – A simple, science-backed way to improve focus and motivation that pays off in every area of performance.

✍️ Deep Dive: Negotiation as a Peak Performance Skill

Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator behind Never Split the Difference, has a line that sticks with me:

“The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don’t know you’re in.”

Most people only recognize negotiation when it feels big, like a salary conversation. But in reality, we’re negotiating all the time.

• When you accept a deadline that isn’t realistic.

• When you agree to a project even though your plate is full.

• When you don’t speak up for your needs at home.

In each case, you’re still negotiating. The question is: are you negotiating intentionally, or are you negotiating against yourself?

🚀 Raises, Promotions, and Career Moves

Let’s talk about one of the biggest negotiation fears: the raise or promotion.

The approach changes depending on where you work:

• In structured companies: Raises and promotions usually follow fixed steps. Think annual reviews, corporate bands, and performance cycles. Here, the negotiation happens before the review — in how you make your contributions visible, build trust, and position yourself over time.

• In startups or smaller companies: There’s more flexibility, but also less predictability. The window to negotiate can open at any time — which makes timing and framing even more important.

💡 When to negotiate a raise or promotion:

• After a clear success that demonstrates impact.

• When you’ve stepped into responsibilities beyond your role.

• At a moment when the business is stable enough to actually hear you.

💡 How to negotiate it:

1. Frame it as shared success. “Here’s how my growth supports the team’s growth.”

2. Bring receipts. Data and results matter more than opinions.

3. Acknowledge reality. “I know budgets are tight right now, but…” lowers defenses.

4. Use silence. Make your ask, then pause. Let the space do the work.

🏠 Negotiation Beyond the Office

Negotiation doesn’t stop at work.

• Vacation: Instead of “I can’t take time off,” try “What would need to be true for me to take this week without disruption?”

• Boundaries: Instead of “I’ll stay late every night,” try “I’ll commit to this project now, and need flexibility next week.”

• At home: Negotiating chores, plans, or parenting isn’t trivial. These conversations decide whether stress builds or connection grows.

Peak performance isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about leaning into these conversations with clarity, empathy, and calm.

♜ Chess, anyone?

Think of negotiation like chess.
Every move shapes the board, not just the piece in play.

• If you sacrifice too many pawns (your time, your energy), the board tilts against you.

• If you only play defense, you never create opportunities.

• But if you plan a few moves ahead, you create alignment that makes everything else easier.

Negotiation isn’t about “winning.” It’s about positioning yourself, with clarity and calm, so you don’t lose the bigger game.

🎯 Practical Negotiation Shifts

Here are five shifts you can put into practice today:

✅ Ask calibrated questions. “What would need to happen for this to work?” invites collaboration.

✅ Focus on interests, not positions. Get curious about why the other side wants what they want.

✅ Use tactical empathy. Acknowledge the other perspective before making your case: “I get that you’re under pressure to hit this deadline…”

✅ Silence is a tool. Make your ask, then resist the urge to fill the space.

✅ Negotiate with yourself. Trade all-or-nothing perfectionism for progress: “I don’t need 90 minutes for the gym. I can start with 20.”

⚡️ Work With Me

When people think of negotiation, they picture the “big” conversations: the raise, the promotion, the job offer.

But in coaching, the most powerful negotiations are smaller.

• Saying no without guilt.

• Protecting time without apology.

• Asking for help without fear of looking weak.

I once worked with a client who was the go-to person in her company. Brilliant, capable, respected, and quietly exhausted. She was constantly negotiating against herself: her health, her evenings, her peace of mind.

Together, we reframed negotiation from conflict to clarity. She began asking for what she needed with calm confidence. She didn’t lose respect, she gained it. Her performance didn’t slip, it soared.

That’s the paradox: the moment you stop negotiating against yourself, you start creating the life, and performance, you actually want.

This is the work I do with my clients. Helping them stop negotiating against themselves, and start negotiating for the life they actually want.

📩 If you’re curious and want to learn more, send me an email at [email protected].

🎯 That's a Wrap

Every conversation is a negotiation.

Not about winning or losing, but about finding clarity, reducing friction, and aligning around what matters most.

The better you negotiate, the more energy you save, the more freedom you reclaim, and the more trust you build.

Until next time,

— Rafic Osseiran

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